Splatting all over the Splat Zones (15-4, Carbon Roller Deco)

4th August 2017 – 7.00 am

That Tri-slosher takes a few hits to splat. but I get him in the end, and avoid some purple threat from behind. The Splat Zones are ours, an Inkstrike helping, and a pause before heading up the wall helps me stay unsplatted for a bit longer. Sticking to the wall would be a better ploy if I could hold my position, and if I weren't Echolocated. I would say it still works out, but, let's be honest, I get lucky.

I super-jump back to the action, and slink around the back, but no one's on the perch. I am, now, and an inkling below me is trying to get me off. Diving in to the purple is a bold move, but I get lucky again and my Carbon Roller finds an inkling that appears from nowhere. I head back to the comfort of the green Splat Zones, and loiter, enjoying their greenness.

Our counter is stopped, so I head around the side to look for the culprits, but maybe I should have been more direct. The Splat Zones turn purple, giving us a big buffer, when we were so close to the goal. So it goes. I turn back and, as my Seeker Rush charges, send Seeker after Seeker over the ledge. They don't catch the Tri-slosher coming up, but a reaction flick does.

It looks like I head up the other side of the Splat Zone just in time, as a squidmate becomes a purple splodge moments later. Not that I notice at the time, apparently, and it only delays my inevitable splatting too. I need to pay more attention sometimes. I get my revenge pretty quickly, with a opportunistic Seeker, and wonderfully time an incoming super-jumper for a bonus splat, before destroying the Beakons the Splat Roller left in her wake.

I just about manage to avoid the Splat Roller's quick return, and make one of my flicks count, as a squidmate above and behind me protects me from another inkling. They may claim they were saving the Splat Zones, but that would be simply to avoid an embarrassing display of gratitude on my part. I hop up the other side and find another Beakon, explaining the quire reappearance of the Splat Roller, and destroy that too. As I turn to ink some turf, a familiar sound of a landing inkling is heard. I finish what I started before pushing on to ink the turf.

I turn my back and our Hydra Splatling is splatted. I hope that wasn't my fault. I start a Seeker Rush that catches the perp, and inks a bit more, but the Suction Bomb Rush kinda overwhelms my Seekers. Worse still, as I move to flank the purple team they capture the Splat Zones, burdening our remaining two points with a fifty-five point buffer. I should have flicked more ink.

My flanking finds no one on the perch, but an inkling beneath me becomes a target, so it's not an entirely wasted trip. Squidding up the wall with continuous purple ink flying over it goes much the same way. I get a splat, but don't hang around to gloat about it. Another Suction Bomb Rush comes flying in stop our counter again, leading to some more antics around the Splat Zones, where one inkling gets away but others do not.

I get away too, but remember that the Splat Zones are there to be captured and return. I show that I still can't stick to walls, before sending a Seeker Rush out to do its job, which it does quite well. And, with ten seconds to go, I think we've got this battle sorted. Despite a last-ditch effort by the purple team, we do. Woomy!

Splat Zones and beyond (4-1, Carbon Roller Deco)

3rd August 2017 – 7.00 pm

Aww yes, look at that Seeker right between the flower boxes. A quick jump and I'm meeting two purple inklings with my Carbon Roller, and discouraging another from coming up to the Splat Zones. Maybe he doesn't mind too much, with the range of that shooter.

Do I hit him with a Seeker eventually, or a different inkling? I don't mind either way, to be honest, particularly as some combined inking definitely splats who is still down there anyway.

The route to the purple base looks covered, so I head along the side, where our Hydra Splatling is doing a good job of covering the alley and the Splat Zones. I hide as inklings approach, and although the two of us splat the inklings back again, I miss the Seeker, in a way I'd rather the Seeker reciprocated.

Straight down the middle on my return. The Seekers aren't needed, but I recover the ink as I squid behind them, and they charge my Rush a little. I also hit the gap again. Clearly, I am having a good battle.

In fact, with no trace of the purple team, there's nothing left to do. A little victory dance is in order. Woomy!

Small victories in Splat Zones (5-6, Fresh Squiffer)

3rd August 2017 – 7.00 am

I'm still not particularly effective with the Squiffer, but I kinda like it's potential in the right tentacles. As I am still learning, rather than dwell on all the mistakes I make, I think it's good to look at the little things I get right.

Despite the Splat Zones being purple, I don't rush down an obviously occupied corridor to get splatted too easily. I take my time, and make my move when I have the advantage of a charged Kraken. Splatting two inklings on top of each other is a nice bonus.

Krakening across the Splat Zones helps neutralise them, and the Splatterscope on the other side seems a bit panicked. I take advantage of the Squiffer's quick charge to get a point blank splat.

My jump-and-throw drops me down at the wrong point, but I escape it without hitting the water, and survive longer than I really should have. Suction Bombs are quite thirsty for ink, though. It's good that we take the lead too.

I don't manage to splat the hopping inkling, but I manage to hold my range and force his mistake. I try to use my Kraken effectively by pushing through the purple Splat Zone, and just miss a decent splat. I am then outdrawn by the Splatterscope, but not by much.

My aim is just a little off when I push in to purple territory and see a squid coming my way, but I destroy a Sprinkler quickly on my return. Not too impressive, but effective. Better still, I splat the Inkzooka inside a Killer Wail with one shot. Nice!

I squid out of the way of a dangerously close Killer Wail. The Splat Zones are contested again, which makes for an interesting battle, but being in a crossfire makes me uncomfortable. I Kraken my way out of it, and head around the side to reduce the crossfire by one.

My Suction Bombs across the Mall frustrates a purple inkling or two for a short while, before the Splatterscope shows me that I'm a bit vulnerable. In the end we just about lose to a knockout, but I think we put up a jolly good battle.

Squiffing in the Splat Zones (6-3, Fresh Squiffer)

2nd August 2017 – 7.00 pm

It's a nice idea to plant that Suction Bomb for the inkling to drop in to, squidding away from harm as I do. It would work better if I didn't squid in to an active Killer Wail. I head a different way next, and still find a Killer Wail, but from a safe distance.

A bit of Suction Bomb lobbing doesn't do as much as I hope, and dropping down from the perch seems to be just the wrong moment to do so. At least I am not splatted immediately, and remember I have a Kraken available. It's quite satisfying splatting someone from behind as a Kraken. It's also quite good that the platform rises to stop me engaging the Splatling, just as my Kraken runs out. That could have been embarrassing.

I don't manage to splat the Bamboozler, or drop a Suction Bomb to coincide with a super-jumper, but at least I can hit a Sprinkler. Another Suction Bomb works very well, placed just where an inkling edging on the perch may not see it. Sitting on the platform offers me a bit of safety and some height to ink the Splat Zones, and that charges my Kraken again.

Two splats with the Kraken this time, which feels great! It's also a nice change of perspective from being chased by Krakens. We perhaps take a bit too long to neutralise the Splat Zones, although we manage it eventually, turning them purple even. A bit of squidding around doesn't quite let me get an aimed splat, but we work well as a team to keep the green ink at bay.

My squidmates push high, and are pretty effective at preventing the green team from pressing, and I hold slightly back, doing what I feel I can. The Bamboozler comes to the side, and I have to dodge, but it puts me in a good position to cover the Inkstrike that hits the Splat Zones. And I spy that Splat Bomb being rolled from the corner, so the Kraken roll was not purely speculative.

We lose the Splat Zones briefly, and the Bamboozler aims for me, but as I squid around a squidmate takes care of her, which is worth a 'Nice!' We hold the turf again, although a Bomb Rush sends a lot of ink our way. It takes three shots to splat the perpetrator, which isn't great, but at least I hit my mark eventually. The Aerospray does so a bit more quickly.

My return is short-lived, dropping next to a Luna Blaster and her Splat Bomb, but my squidmates have the Splat Zones in hand. There's little more I have to do, and I just spread some ink as we head to a knockout victory. Woomy!

Forward support in Tower Control (8-2, Tri-slosher)

2nd August 2017 – 7.00 am

Well, my trip around the back to surprise the E-litre 3K goes better than expected. The other inkling was a surprise to the both of us, and my Bubbler charges just in time to repel a third inkling. Very nice indeed. I back off from there, not wanting to be too annoying, as my squidmates tussle over the actual Tower.

The Tower starts moving forwards again, so I do too, looking to find source of purple ink and splatting them. One I find easily, the other kinda finds me, but as she's the E-litre 3K she's a bit more reluctant to engage me directly. My bucket prevails soon enough. I make another minor retreat, as does the Tower, but mine's a feint.

I head around the side, and surprise one inkling so much he jumps over me. My Bubbler keeps me safe, super-jumping away keeps him safe, so I go looking for the Tower. I spy an inkling causing problems, but they are problems I can't quite stop.

I indulge myself with some messing around in the middle of the Heights, as my squidmates keep dealing with the Tower, and try to keep the E-litre 3K on her toes. I get closer to try to be more of a distraction, which works, but without splats I have to retreat for a bit. That keeps me safe for a little longer, and my return at least supports the Tower.

We're almost there, making a super-jump look appealing. It looks less appealing as soon as I start the jump, as the Tower heads backwards, and looks very purple as I come in to land. But somehow I get a splat and help recover the Tower.

As a squidmate rides the Tower ahead, I squid around and in front, looking to provide some support, but none is needed. I think I can be a bit cheeky and hop on the Tower as it reaches the goal. Woomy!

Hitting the sides in Tower Control (13-6, Tri-slosher)

1st August 2017 – 7.00 pm

I make a beeline for the shortcut behind the blue team, but hitting their flank apparently isn't enough for me this battle. Instead, I work my way right around the back, to hit them from as far back as I can. I'm actually noticed as I approach, though, but I just about slosh a bit better than the other bucket.

I'm hoping my squidmates are taking care of the Tower, and they seem to be, so I stick around the top. A bit of hopping here and there gets be behind a Splash Wall, and my Bubbler stops my getting sloshed, and by that point I have probably outstayed my welcome. I go to see what my squidmates are up to. Pushing the Tower. Good show!

I hop around the top and try a different side route. It doesn't do a bad job, but I appear at about the same time as the Tower and get caught up in the ink flying around. I hit the side on my return, as the blue team push the Tower, which lets me splat the Inkzooka, and just about splat the Mini Splatling, and help recover the Tower.

A Disruptor slows down one threat, my Bubbler keeps me safe, and a bit of dodging gets me to the side of two inklings, but not quite safe enough to survive as well. And I had to hop off the Tower to do it, but my squidmates are on it quickly enough, and provide a super-jump target. Mind you, that just lets me get splatted a bit more quickly, as I can't quite squid upwards quicker than a Carbon Roller can flick.

I choose another side route, and hope to drop down on some unsuspecting inklings. I get my timing badly wrong this time, and face three Bubblered inklings, one of whom has an Inkzooka firing my way. Oops. My squidmates reclaim the Tower, at least. That's good, and lets me hit the centre of the map more quickly, inking turf yellow, and somehow avoiding the Carbon Roller just in time to hitch a lift with the Tower.

One inkling stays on the Tower, the rest of us skirmish. That means our Roller has to hop over a Splash Wall, which he does a good job of, and I miss an inkling. That's not so bad, really, as the Tower has changed tentacles and is heading backwards, so my forced retreat is necessary. Running in to the Tri-slosher doesn't go as well as the other times, though, and I don't stop the Tower from behind.

Maybe I can still stop the Tower from behind. Not really, as my squidmates do that before I reach it, although I prevent one inkling from contesting control. I spy a line of ink that looks suspicious, but it occurs to me now that it was probably from an Inkzooka. If I hadn't covered that ink, would I still have been splatted by the Carbon Roller? Probably.

Few seconds remain, and the blue team make one last, concerted push. We need to get out of the way of the Inkzooka, but that lets us avoid the Splash Wall and hit their flank. A splat here, a splat there, but still the blue team push.

The blue team are super-jumping in to keep the Tower moving, but with just as much yellow ink flying around, it is simply not enough. Woomy!

Cruising to the goal in Tower Control (3-1, Tri-slosher)

1st August 2017 – 7.00 am

The Carbon Roller plays me like a fiddle, hiding behind the wall until I pulled back enough to be less of a threat. Boom, splatted. An early three-on-one advantage does nothing for the purple team, though, as they don't touch the Tower. Oops.

I head around the side, hoping to give the purple team a dose of their Carbon Roller's medicine, and accidentally splat their Tri-slosher along the way. The purple team finally get on the Tower, just as I squid up the wall, but it's too late. My squidmates wrest control of it immediately, and starting pushing it in the right direction.

I slosh from above to provide some indirect support, until it becomes clear that the purple team really have been thoroughly pushed back. I dive down in to clear ink, lobbing an opportunistic Disruptor, and head around the side to try to surprise some inklings.

Yep, they were surprised. The Tower keeps trundling forwards, and I still have my Bubbler. That'll do. The only impediment is the minor astonishment that one side of the Tower remains uninked this close to the goal. Otherwise, with Bubbler active and shared, I just enjoy the rest of the ride.

Blast it all in Tower Control (11-6, Blaster)

31st July 2017 – 7.00 pm

Holding back a little doesn't get me in to much trouble to start with, which is a nice change, and I even get a good splat. All looks clear, so I ride the Tower, my squidmates coming along when they can, but even though I see the Splat Bomb and try to move away, I don't do quite enough. Still, we have the early lead, even if it is unlikely to stand.

My Killer Wail charges, and just as I aim a Splattshot tries to stop me. I get the Killer Wail going, but have to dodge one coming my way. Thank the Great Zapfish for Ink Resistance. And dodging to the side finds another inkling ripe for splatting. That worked out quite well.

The Tower is pushed forwards again, and I sit ahead of it, with a squidmate, applying some forward pressure. As her Killer Wail creates a channel, I squid in to it and get a nice lucky splat as a result. The Tower comes my way then, so I try to hop on, but the yellow inklings want to join in. A new Killer Wail is ready, but circumstances change by the time I activate it, and my indecision doesn't help with my chances of survival.

The yellow team get a go with the Tower, but an Inkstrike and a couple of Beakons don't get them too far. I toy with one inkling, who lasts quite a few blasts, and get a better hit on a second, which puts me next to the block leading behind the Tower's route. As it is going forwards, I decide to use the shortcut, seeing if another Killer Wail can channel the inklings towards my Blaster. Yes, but I can't aim well enough under pressure to do much about it. So it goes.

Our lead is extended further, which is good, and as the yellow team leave the Tower to make its own way back to the centre, I hop on to push it forwards again. But it's a decent ploy by the yellow team, one of whom has a Kraken ready to splat the sucker who jumps on the Tower in the centre and reclaim it for the yellow team.

The Tower remains contested around the centre of the map for a bit. I take the high ground to try to get behind the yellow team, hoping the Tower doesn't get away from me as I do this, and thankfully I get a splat and back to the centre without the Tower straying too far. I hop on and start another push, as much to keep it out of yellow tentacles as to try to extend our lead.

I get knocked off the Tower, but, as planned, the Tower is in yellow territory, and time is running low. Despite the yellow inklings trying to clamber over the Tower as the clock ticks down, it is contested enough for the battle not to enter extra time. The battle is won! Woomy!

Mixing up the splats in Tower Control (9-4, Fresh Squiffer)

31st July 2017 – 7.00 am

Look at all that rapid shooting capability on the other side. I fear for my mostly untested lack of ability with the Fresh Squiffer, but nu kör vi! And here we do go, with a sweet first splat against a squid flat on the Tower. To be honest, having the Tower to aim for, at least some of the time, is why I'm trying the Squiffer again now. The second splat, also aiming at the Tower, certainly boosts my confidence a little more.

I'm not just going to be sticking to the back, though. I like being active, and the relatively short range of the Squiffer should push me to the action. I ride the Tower at the first opportunity, and even though I have to dive off pretty quickly, I get a nifty splat with a Suction Bomb.

The Tower leaves me behind, but my Kraken charges and I spy viable targets. I've not been a Kraken for ages, and really don't have much idea how to use it, beyond remembering how other Krakens splat me. Maybe I wait too long on the super-jumping ring, rather than squidding away and back, but two splats isn't a bad result for not knowing what I'm doing.

Back to the Tower, or maybe not. The purple team claim it, so I drop back. The inflatable blocks my view, but also the view of the inkling. I get the luxury of two shots at the Tower, the second being spot on, for another splat. The short range is probably helping my aim, even if it makes the Squiffer more dangerous.

I get two more splats as the purple team push the Tower, and move to reclaim it for our team. It works well as a team effort, and although the inklings are cleared before my Kraken can reach them, the Tower keeps moving and we take the lead. Nice! I get a bit too confident and push higher, and the Tower doesn't quite follow. The purple team are coming from two directions, and it's effective at least in getting me caught in a pincer of purple ink.

Getting back to base finds we've had an intruder. It's wise to clear up after them, and as most of us have been splatted we make that a team effort too. Meanwhile, the Tower heads towards us. Our lead is still intact, at least, but I get my feet mixed up and can't squid away from a Splat Bomb. My Suction Bomb does it's job, though, but the purple team haven't been stopped yet.

Our lead is lost, and the intruder is back to cause more disruption. It's quite effective, particularly with a Kraken under his hat. I may dodge the Kraken, but my Suction Bomb throw misses the Tower, and I am under a lot of purple ink pretty quickly from a coordinated advance.

There's little I can do but watch the Tower trundle on towards its goal. Never mind, it has been a fun little battle with the Fresh Squiffer. I could get used to it.

Doing your best when down a squid in Splat Zones (7-4, Tri-slosher)

30th July 2017 – 7.00 pm

It's a good and hectic start to the Splat Zones battle. We capture our Splat Zone, it comes under pressure, and the containers mean we don't know if the pressure is coming towards us or from the side. But neither do they. I like pushing up to splat the Squiffer, but am less amused by the Octoshot Replica shooting through the Inkstrike, but what can you do.

Worse, though, is that the inkling looking drowsy on our base disappears seconds later. Now we're 3 vs 4, which rarely fares well for the 3. Which includes me. Unsurprisingly, both Splat Zones turn blue pretty quickly, and trying to defend them becomes difficult when always outnumbered.

I quite like Port Mackerel for its options, though. The right raised corridor is often overlooked, as being rather useless. But I see its potential in leading where inklings don't look. As the blue team concentrate on our Splat Zone and the ledges above it, I manage to get behind them and to their Splat Zone.

A Disruptor helps me splat the one rearguard, and actually capture the blue Splat Zone. It doesn't do anything by itself but stop the other team's counter, but it is a small gesture of defiance in a battle where we're almost certainly going to lose. A squidmate comes up to join me, and we wreak a little havoc for a while, the Squiffer at least showing a bit too much confidence in their position.

I maybe make a mistake in retreating to our own Splat Zone, giving up the turf near the blue Splat Zone to let their team move around more freely, but mixing things up will at least keep the blue team on their toes. We're unlikely to capture both Splat Zones at once, but I'm not going to let the blue team get complacent in where they expect to be battling.

I head back up to the blue Splat Zone in the same spirit, but spot the Squiffer a little too late, and can't stop another slosh to get out of the way. Never mind, and at least she found a defensive position to deal with me this time.

And, with that, the battle is over. It's still a knockout victory for the blue team, but one that perhaps wasn't as straightforward as it could have been.