Trying to survive the Splat Zones (13-8, Carbon Roller Deco)

13th September 2017 – 7.00 am

That barrier is not Seeker friendly, so I head in the other direction, but still don't launch a Seeker. I try to sneak up the back of the moving platform, which seems a bit tricky when you have to ink all the way up the wall first. Somehow, it pays off, but I don't find an inkling to splat on the other side of the office.

I look around the corner, for any inklings on the perch, but they see me coming, and turn in to a Kraken. So it goes. At least the purple team's interest is on me, and my squidmates have got control of the Splat Zones. Not for long, though, neither do we keep the lead for long. I should try to ink some turf. A Seeker Rush may help, if not for the moving platforms, but I just about find an angle to help spread some yellow ink.

Heading back to the purple side has a Seeker find a hidden squid. I'm tempted to hang around, but the Splat Zones are purple, so I turn back, missing seeing the inkling just behind me in favour of the Rapid Blaster right in front of me. I don't think I make much difference. I come back to help out in the Splat Zones, and get another splat on the Rapid Blaster.

But there's something suspect about that Rapid Blaster. On both occasions, the splat has come a couple of seconds before the notification. It makes it seem like someone else got the splat, but the name does eventually turn up. That could spell latent trouble. For now, I keep on trying to help us retake control of the Splat Zones. I get in to perhaps the best position when my Seeker Rush charges, but am thwarted by another Kraken.

At least we had control of the Splat Zones briefly. My return is brief, caught between two Suction Bombs without an idea of what to do, and my next foray in to the Splat Zones has my chasing the Rapid Blaster, getting hits here and there, but having to get really close before securing the splat. Even after that, the latent problem pops up, the Rapid Blaster splatting me a couple of seconds after being splatted. So it goes sometimes.

Heading around the other side lets me drop down near the Splat Zones, but as a Suction Bomb Rush sends bombs flying everywhere. I dodge the two around me and send a Seeker forwards, which hits a mark I wasn't aiming for. A poke over a ledge happily splats the Rapid Blaster by accident, and that charges my Seeker Rush for a healthy amount of ink to be sent across the Splat Zones. Plus another happy accidental splat.

Trying to be cute and hopping to the purple team's perch nearly goes horribly wrong, as the Kraken transforms under my Roller, but luckily he is focussed on a squidmate. Well, lucky for me, not my squidmate. I stay out of trouble, just about dodging the Rapid Blaster enough to let him jump down, where I splat him, with the usual delayed notification. My position lets me get another splat from an inkling looking the other way, and it seems that I may be able to turn this battle around for me.

I get in a tight spot, and try simply to stay out of more trouble. I get a bit caught up in trying to splat an inkling who squids past me, but it's the Rapid Blaster. If the splat came normally, maybe I wouldn't keep flicking, and could evade the attentions of the Aerospray, but things don't always work out as we plan.

The good news is that the Splat Zones stay yellow long enough for us to take the lead, nice! I come back to get a splat, I think, and try to jump and launch a Seeker, which doesn't go well. But there's lots of yellow ink around. Even my opportunistic lurch in to purple territory doesn't dampen my spirits, not as we are so close to winning.

But the Splat Zones turn purple with seconds to go, and the battle enters extra time. Still, all we have to do is stop their counter, so that's what I concentrate on. A splatty trade isn't so bad when I've spread so much yellow ink, and, sure enough, seconds later, the battle ends in our favour. Woomy!

Speeding to the goal in Tower Control (5-0, Tri-slosher)

12th September 2017 – 7.00 pm

Losing an inkling often unbalances the battle significantly. A green inkling disappears before ten seconds are up, and that clearly gives us a smoother ride to the goal.

I pull out some decent manoeuvres all the same, but I doubt they would all have worked had there been the fourth inkling, particularly a Splattershot Pro.

I hop on to the Tower to revel in the minor victory, but it turns out to be a necessary move, as my squidmates get splatted off close to the goal.

One turns to dust in Tower Control (7-1, Tri-slosher)

12th September 2017 – 7.00 am

I can get quite aggressive with the bucket. It helps that it lets me move really quickly, and that I don't have to aim too much, something that encourages me to hit the flanks early and often. I'm not even sure if a squid is on the create, but my first slosh hits so I keep going.

I am in a great position to slosh unexpectedly from behind, and splat two more teal inklings. The Tower rejects me, but accepts my squidmates, which I take as a sign to hit the flank again. I dive up the corridor and have a target right in front of me. Nice!

My random sloshing doesn't hit anyone else, and with the Tower going backwards I squid back to hop on and keep it moving forwards. A squidmate joins me immediately, so I'm off again, squidding around a Splash Wall in time to see the inkling that threw it disappear in a puff of ink dust. That tips the balance somewhat.

What's left of the teal team take the Tower with the help of a Bubbler, but that wears off, and my ink starts hitting the inklings. I don't come out of that unscathed, though, and am splatted back to base, as my squidmates regain Tower control.

I think it's worth super-jumping back to the action. I land with a splat, and scramble back on to the Tower for a quiet ride to the goal.

Not quite blasting to the goal in Tower Control (3-1, Grim Range Blaster)

11th September 2017 – 7.00 pm

I'm planning to go up and around the back of the orange inklings to start the battle, but I think I can do more good by supporting my squidmates more directly. Despite my generally dodgy again, I can get the occasional good shot, and my first direct hit of the battle attests to that, taking the charger pressure off our team.

As can be seen, that was a lucky shot, as my aim lets me down from there. At least I seem threatening enough to be able to evade too much attention, a Killer Wail helping to create the barrier, which also lets me enact my original intention. Up the block and around the side, where two orange inklings are in my sights. Trying to splat both with two indirect hits lets them get away, but one aims for me, giving me another lucky direct hit.

My range and aim let me down again, but at least I'm trying! My luck runs out and I get myself in a sticky position, from which there is no escape. At least I was spared the Inkzooka. Heading down our other flank almost has my running straight in to a Suction Bomb, but my Blaster lets me squid away just in time.

I head up the side and use my Killer Wail in a less than ideal position, but it gets me a splat, and stops the charger for a moment. I push my luck and keep going forwards, turning to get a decent splat on an inkling pressuring the Tower. Ah, that's because the Tower is right there. I jump on to help keep it moving.

Inky pressure appears from two directions as we approach the goal. My first shot is wildly high, my second too low, so I decide to just hide in my ink and hope for the best. It's not a glorious victory, but it's a victory none the less.

Crazy splattenings in Splat Zones (11-6, Carbon Roller Deco)

11th September 2017 – 7.00 am

My gambit to poke around the crates in the Splat Zones is a bit risky, but somehow works this time, probably not because of anything I did. But I find myself in a sticky situation, where one inkling is somewhere, I don't know where, and the other purple inklings may come from behind. I decide my best bet is to sit tight and wait for the right moment. I think I find it, thanks to a friendly Killer Wail overlapping an unfriendly one.

A bit of inking is followed by a retreat when an Echolocator hits, which helps the purple team capture the Splat Zones. That's okay, my Seeker Rush charges, sending out a fair amount of ink, and some nice paths to follow. I sneak just beyond where a purple inkling things I am, but my flick doesn't seem to be as good a hit as it feels. So it goes.

I ink here and there, before a squidmate handily inks a path in to the Splat Zones. I use that to sneak up and get revenge on the Splattershot Jr, and start laying down more ink. I am helped with a second Seeker Rush, which, despite being Echolocated, forces a purple inkling in to a mistake. I bounce off a Killer Wail when trying to turn the Splat Zones green again, but I survive and retreat for my own health.

I turn back, Splat Zones purple, and send a Seeker ahead. It's a risky move, with just the one path, but my Ninja Squid t-shirt must help, as the Splattershot Jr doesn't anticipate my path. Another Seeker Rush helps with inking, and one Seeker catches an inkling with a beautiful curving path. I jink to the other side, and splat the Splatling from below, but am spotted quickly by a squidmate of hers and splatted back.

The purple ink is covering almost everything now. It's difficult to get close to the Splat Zones, but a helpful Killer Wail looks like a good opportunity. I don't realise some ink is coming from a Sprinkler, which explains why I don't splat an inkling on the boxes, but I skirt trouble until I am on the other side of the Splat Zones, where I meet the Splattershot Jr again. We trade ink, but at least I have helped neutralise the Splat Zones. My squidmates fill in the gaps moments later.

Maybe a trip around the side will be useful. Not immediately, obviously, and I don't want to spend longer going right around the back. For once, maybe I should have, as the Splatling is on the big container, a squidmate is super-jumping to her, and my Carbon Roller can't quite reach up there. I have to make do with a Seeker Rush, which helps neutralise the Splat Zones and gets an incidental splat, but I get muddled up with the Carbon Roller that super-jumps in, not quite getting the upper hand.

My squidmates have the Splat Zones under control, though. Nice! I squid around adding my ink here and there, trying to get close to the Splatling that's causing trouble somewhere. My moment comes when her placement of a Killer Wail gives away her position. I am Echolocated soon after the splat, and although I notice the Carbon Roller early enough to get a second splat, it appears I am being hunted whilst Echolocated. I can't blame them for doing that. And we've got the lead, which is good.

With just a few seconds to go, we only need to defend the Splat Zones to claim the victory. I try not to be too aggressive in doing this, lest I become a purple splotch in the wrong place, but I can't help but try splatting the Splatling from below again. It doesn't work, and I am splatted when I turn my back, but we've done enough. Woomy!

Being unsplatted doesn't help you win the Splat Zones (12-4, Carbon Roller Deco)

10th September 2017 – 7.00 pm

Don't mind my erratic movements at the start of the battle, I'm just plugging my Gamepad in to the power adapter. I get underway smoothly enough, right in to an N-ZAP. Pretty typical, really. With so much yellow ink around, I hold back, sending Seekers forwards, inking the corridor, until a Seeker Rush lets me be bold.

One Seeker hits, the others ink ahead nicely, and an Inkstrike to my side encourages me to move forwards, catching an evading inkling. I leave another Echolocated inkling along to focus on the Splat Zones a bit, catching up with him shortly afterwards. Now we're in control of the Splat Zones, and I have another Seeker Rush to help retain control.

I find myself in a sticky situation, a bit close to the yellow inklings, without much of a view, or much of a plan. Even so, I manage to get out of there, twice, in fact, which is doubly impressive as I shouldn't have gone back, before surviving two near misses. A bit of a breather helps me assess our situation. It looks good. We have the lead, we have control, and I have a path to flank the incoming yellow inkling.

Our situation looks good. I am pretty confident that we've fully turned the battle around. My survival even looks assured, as even when the Splat Zones turn yellow, a glitch, most likely, and an Inkstrike threatens my back, I get clear of everything, with some help from our charger squidmate. My Seekers keep hitting distant inklings too, where I am launching them only opportunistically.

Feeling almost invulnerable, despite a squidmate or two exploding nearby, I move forwards in to hostile ink to splat a super-jumper, before splatting an N-ZAP at some considerable range for a Carbon Roller. But I am only inkling after all, as the N-ZAP's ink overwhelms me. Still, we are back in control, and I have all the moves. This battle is sewn up.

Naturally, my confidence becomes my undoing. I believe I can just roll in to the Splat Zone, flick towards the yellow inklings, and everything works out. Of course, that wasn't what I was doing before at all. I had ensured there was ink around, got in closer to inklings whose position was better-known, and had a sprinkling of luck. Ignoring the first two bits means the luck doesn't matter.

I try to exercise a bit more caution, but the yellow inklings are back in charge, and the occasional Seeker doesn't cut it. A Seeker Rush helps, but not reacting quickly enough to the Inkzooka splats me back to base just when it looked like I could have made another positive contribution. And although we neutralise the Splat Zones just in time, the yellow team grab them back a few seconds later, and re-take the lead.

Again, there is simply too much ink for me to make any sensible progress, and, this time, too little time to do anything about it. Props to the yellow team for turning the battle around.

Skirting the Splat Zones (7-3, Carbon Roller Deco)

10th September 2017 – 7.00 am

I don't go all the way around the side to start this Walleye Warehouse battle. It takes a bit longer, and either no one's watching the side anyway, so what's the point, or an inkling is coming down the corridor and my route is blocked either way. This time, an inkling is coming. My pause to try to launch a Seeker, instead of flicking first, is probably my downfall.

My caution to approach hostile Splat Zones keeps me safe, but my ink trails down the centre keep getting covered. Without them, I will not be able to move up safely. I choose the corridor instead, but I show myself too soon, allowing the Mini Splatling to pop her Bubbler. Thankfully, she makes an error in direction, allowing me to get the upper-hand again.

I manage to splat a passing Carbon Roller before being bold enough to roll through the Splat Zones, heading backwards to cover some yellow mess. That finds an intruding yellow inkling, now stuck in blue ink, and I don't mind so much that it takes two flicks to splat him, as he doesn't react quickly enough to stop me.

The lack of yellow inklings helps us take control of the Splat Zones, but they soon come back. My Seeker isn't seeking the Inkstriker, so it's good that a squidmate moves up for the splat, and I don't really hunt the Seeker-rushing Carbon Roller who's on our turf quickly enough to prevent him splatting a squidmate. I follow a squid to the side, but it's the Mini Splatling, which can fire fast enough to ensure a mutual splatting.

I cover over more yellow ink on my return, being a bit cautious in case the obvious change in colour is noticed. It isn't, so I have the opportunity to send out Seekers from the side. I don't think they do much, but they allow me to move up, putting me in a good position to splat the Mini Splatling from the side.

My inattention to other threats almost gets me squished by a Carbon Roller. I get splatted still, but I make it mutual. Well, just about. Our score keeps ticking down, and we win as our two sets of kit sink in to the ink. Woomy!

Forward support in Rainmaker (8-2, Tri-slosher)

9th September 2017 – 7.00 pm

I've still not really got the hang of Hammerhead Bridge. I never really know what route to take, or what works. I fully expect to pop up on the other side of the Rainmaker and be splatted instantly, so it is a nice relief to get one splat and push back a second inkling before that happens.

I try heading around the side next. Not that there's much of a side on the Bridge, which is perhaps why I feel so uncomfortable here. The flanking opportunities seem less. It doesn't help that I get stuck on a lip, but that's just me getting over-excited. At least I don't stay there to get easily splatted.

Moving this way and that pressures the inkling to squid away, and although one slosh hits, I am encouraged to stay where I am by a super-jumper ring. That inkling is splatted nicely, as I'm able to back off slightly to avoid the low-ranged Carbon Roller. The Carbon Roller comes for me, though, but with this much warning and room to retreat, it's a failing proposition.

Moving forwards lands me next to an unaware Hydra Splatling, which is a great place to be for a Tri-slosher, and I see the last inkling below me, the Rapid Blaster than evaded me at first. I drop down and turn, thinking the inkling will be hiding on the wall, but he's still where he was. A Disruptor is often a good idea, but not in this case, where they are trapped and I have a Bubbler charged. To top off my four splats, a squidmate grabs the Rainmaker. Nice!

I fail to squid up the wall, thwarted by a splotch of yellow ink, but maybe it's for the best, with a charger's laser sight hovering near me. I go around and up instead, where a Splash Wall lasts only for a second, the Rainmaker clearing that out of the way. And with two inklings hiding behind a wall, I relish the joys of sloshing.

I just about out-run the Rapid Blaster below me, and do the only thing I really can where I am, with a Killer Wail also blocking me off. I splat the inklings coming out of their base. Sorry about that. I don't last long there, unsurprisingly, but my squidmate with the Rainmaker has pushed forwards nicely, getting the dunk before I'm even transported back to base.

It looks like we had a smurf on our team, and I think they were the Rainmaker carrier. That somewhat diminishes the victory for me. Even so, I had a good battle, which is the main thing.

Getting close in Rainmaker (10-7, Tri-slosher)

9th September 2017 – 7.00 am

I don't rush in to things to start with, which makes a nice change. My horribly thrown Disruptor is par for the course, though, but it looks like a squidmate splats the Hydra Splatling for me. Or he gets bored and wanders off. Works for me, as I can get up and behind the orange team. Another Disruptor hits the drink, which is nice, but I move up to get one splat before a Carbon Roller easily gets the draw on me.

I just can't throw Disruptors. I would say I need more practice, but I don't think it helps. At least I don't succumb to the Hydra Splatling's ink, although I have to go a bit out of my way to avoid it. I also pop my Bubbler perhaps without needing to, but that may be better than getting splatted with it charged. From that splat, I chase the Rainmaker and get another splat, before the Carbon Roller out-inks me again. They are quick, but that turn-and-flick to catch my super-jumping inkling is a little insulting.

I do quite well to get the drop on the next orange Rainmaker push, and then very badly indeed to miss them entirely. I deserved to be sloshed. The small patience I show getting around the back again pays off better than last time, splatting the Hydra Splatling completely unawares, before I once again chase the Rainmaker. I think my Disruptor hits, but the Rainmaker squids up the wall pretty quickly, a bit better than I manage to avoid the Inkstrike.

My efforts to support our Rainmaker carrier are well-meaning, but jumping in to the water doesn't really help anyone. I'm actually glad the Slosher splatted me before I hit the water itself. Another Disruptor goes in to the water next, and although it looks like the Hydra Splatling will follow it, he keeps his footing. I just have to slosh him instead. I miss one passing inkling, the super-jumper squids away too quickly, and I don't notice them squidding up the ramp next to me afterwards during the battle. I also don't quite notice the Inkstriker quickly enough to splat them without recovering to splat me back.

And we lose the lead! We had kept the orange inklings back to just about protect our lead up to that point, but they sneak that extra tentacle to snatch it from us with a minute to go. It's still not a huge lead, and there's time left, we may be able to recover. I pull out a few good moves, dropping on the Inkzooka, closing with the Hydra Splatling, and having my Bubbler incidentally active for the super-jumper, which lets me ink a path forwards.

Yes, we get the lead back immediately! Not only that, but we surpass the previous lead by a big margin, and the podium is right there in front of us. Once the Hydra Splatling is splatted, the way forwards looks clear too! Unfortunately, the path behind us turns out to be less than clear. I run out of ink at an inopportune moment too, which gives the orange inklings time to return and lob a Splat Bomb in to a good place.

But we have done more than enough. The Rainmaker stays in its shield, close to the orange podium, as the seconds tick down. Woomy!

A few good moments in Rainmaker (9-6, Hero Charger Replica)

8th September 2017 – 7.00 pm

My charger skills are still not great. Sure, I splat the Kelp Splatterscope, but I have to take that extra second to make sure of my aim, which lets my target spot me, and splat me back. But my squidmates grab the Rainmaker. I drop down to provide closer support for the push, but the push is as short-lived as my evasive manoeuvres are effective. I suppose I coincidentally dodged the Kraken, though.

We're being forced back on two fronts when the purple team make their push. The Rainmaker may not get far, but its support is pushing aggressively. One Splat Bomb catches an inkling below, but the Squiffer has inked a path right to the podium, which blocks my attempt at a second Splat Bomb splatting. The twinkle-toed Squiffer evades my puny aim too, and comes at me as a Kraken. I dodge him a second time, which is something, but I'm not sure it puts me in a better position.

I do my best to make a mess and a nuisance of myself, which a Splat Bomb Rush helps with. By keeping moving and not stopping to get a splat that isn't guaranteed, diving over the ramp and not focussing on the Kelp Splatterscope, I keep myself unsplatted. A squidmate has grabbed the Rainmaker as well, so I try to provide a little support. Getting splatted by the Squiffer doesn't qualify, but I splat the Splattershot first. I like to think that helps my squidmate sneak the lead.

I tidy up after the Squiffer, to stop some quick purple progress, as my squidmates apply more Rainmaker pressure. This lets me be in a good position as the Rainmaker comes back our way, with a Splat Bomb Rush ready too. The Rainmaker jinks away from all the green ink, and I get a good splat on the Kelp Splatterscope as I move to keep up with it. My Hero Charger Replica doesn't have the range to splat the Rainmaker, nor my throwing arm the power, and I have to make do with becoming a purple puddle after my squidmates deal with the Rainmaker.

Some more tidying is in order, before moving across to see what my squidmates are doing with the Rainmaker. I don't find out, as I'm distracted by the Squiffer making more mess. Despite his speed, I manage to get a good shot as he squids towards me, and I just about get a second shot off before an Inkzooka's blast hits me. Not a bad trade, I'd say. Another double-splat next, defending the next purple push. One neatly rolled Splat Bomb, one shot at the admittedly static Rainmaker. And I don't avoid the blast. Still, it gets some revenge for the squidmate who super-jumped in to the Rainmaker's blast moments before.

With seconds to go, we just have to defend our position. But the Rainmaker is close to taking the lead, and the purple team grab it. I would like to say I get the final splat to end the battle with a good shot, but, as usual, a bit of tension pulls my shot a little. That's okay, a squidmate splats the Rainmaker less than a second later, to win us the battle. Woomy!