Single-handedly destroying new player retention
2nd April 2014 – 5.03 pmIt looks like a standard start to my evening, but it's easier than normal. It seems our static wormhole collapsed in on itself and spawned a tiny Big Bang—so, a bang, I suppose—for its replacement to be on the same locus. I warp across to take a look, the wormhole being the only change of signature since yesterday, and, sure enough, I drop next to a healthy connection to class 3 w-space. Let's see what's there.
No tower is visible on my directional scanner, but I do see a flight of armour repair drones and a Minmatar frigate wreck. That's almost interesting. I wonder what happened. Launching probes and blanketing the system reveals only sixteen anomalies and eight signatures, no ships, so I can't follow any fresh traces of activity. But I can point d-scan at each anomaly, in the system map, and find the wreck that way. Not the drones, though; they are elsewhere.
At first I think the frigate was foolish enough to warp in to a wave of Sleepers, but the anomaly is an ore site. I still don't understand why ore sites were moved to be anomalies. But, anyway, I warp in to take a look at the wreck, see if it's been looted, and see no sign of it. I don't think I was wrong about the wreck being in this site, though, as updating d-scan now doesn't see it anywhere. I confidently place the time-of-death of the frigate as two hours ago, and move on to exploring the system properly.
It's my seventh visit to the system, the last being four months earlier, when nothing notable occurred. The tower that was here has gone, its replacement easily located. Sifting through the signatures resolves one wormhole, probably the static exit to low-sec, but also a second. Am I to be blessed this evening? Maybe, when a third wormhole is resolved, followed by a couple of data sites to round off the results.
The scanning results aren't as good as first suggested. One wormhole is dead-on-arrival, the other two being a K162 from low-sec and the static exit that clearly leads to Domain. HR volunteers for K162 duty, so I go through the U210, where the system in Domain has one other pilot and five additional signatures. I launch probes to scan as further pilots enter the system, and find a combat site, wormhole, combat site, relics, and an Imicus frigate warping to the C3 K162.
Hello, little Imicus. Will you come closer? No? Then I will come to you. Don't be scared. Oops, I somehow managed to decloak my Loki, activate my sensor booster, and disrupt the Imicus's warp engines whilst loosing autocannon rounds its way. It was probably all an accident of muscle memory. What can I say? A couple of rounds is enough to pop the frigate, and the pod warps away a few seconds later, letting me loot nothing of value from the wreck.
Now to reconnoitre the wormholes. One is a C3 K162 with, hello, a Magnate frigate sitting on it. Will you sit still, Mr Magnate? Ah, no, he warps away almost immediately. Fair enough, but he looks to be heading to the other wormhole I've resolved. I follow, decloaking during warp to absorb the recalibration delay, but the frigate drops from d-scan as I get close. He could have warped away again, but he could also have jumped through the K162 from class 2 w-space.
The dying K162 from class 2 w-space, mind you. It's quite possible the Magnate will be returning to low-sec pretty soon, if he's just having a look around. I burn to wormhole and, yep, the connection crackles, the pilot reappearing in the local channel. I get ready to catch him, the Magnate shedding its session-change cloak within seconds, and I try to get a positive lock on the polarised frigate. Maybe I do, maybe I don't. I first think he was agile enough to warp clear, until I realise he was just out of range of my warp scrambler. Either way, he gets clear.
Hello, I have a conversation request. How lovely! It's obviously the Imicus pilot from a few minutes ago, probably wanting to congratulate me on my prowess for using a strategic cruiser to destroy his basic frigate, and to compliment me on keeping space dangerous. And I suppose he is, but using much bigger words and different metaphors than I would have employed. Either way, it's nice to meet a new pilot.
As I wait for each new challenge to my worth as a capsuleer to arrive, I warp back to the C3 K162 to see what other activity I might stumble across. Jumping back to w-space and updating d-scan sees a tower but no ships, and warping away to launch probes only bumps in to two more towers still without ships. I launch probes anyway and scan for K162s, chubster signatures only, and resolve two. One is a K162 from high-sec, the devil of Heimatar shining through, the other a K162 from null-sec. I'll take a look at that second one.
Jumping to null-sec takes me to a system in Tenal devoid of capsuleers, which gives me an opportunity to go ratting and recover some of the security status loss from my jab at the Imicus. There are also two extra signatures to be resolved, and I find I either can't resist scanning them to alleviate the tedium of ratting or I have a scanning problem. Whatever, both signatures are combat sites and ignored before I even find the pair of battleships flanked by frigates.
I pop the escorts, then one of the battleships, and call it a night. I've had my fun, and not found anything in this direction. HR hit a minor hub of wormholes through the K162 from C3a, scouting through which finds some ships and pilots, but no one outside of a tower or showing any intention to move outside of a tower. It's time to call it a night, and we both head back home.
6 Responses to “Single-handedly destroying new player retention”
Well, that's you told.
Lucky he was there to set you straight, you seem to have been doing it wrong all these years.
What kind of pasta is Zorlach? And why is it served Al dente one wonders before wondering what a "cockfag" is and submitting a complaint to CCP just in case.
You did us all a service Penny by keeping pilots like this guy OUT of wh space. Well done!
I can't wait to run into this guy.
That's a depressing but generally the usual response to blowing up ships in a space ship destruction simulation.
After reading the diatribe and insults that you received I'm depressed.
I hope people like that do quit Eve, no matter how long or short they've been playing.
I understand the adrenaline rush everyone (mostly) gets through PvP through this game, and different people handle it better than others - personally I thought I was going to have a heart attack the first few times someone shot at me, but I slowly got over it, and started hot targeting first - it didn't reduce the adrenaline rush, but it did stop the heart palpitations.
For those who don't think and calm down before typing out rubbish like that, CCP needs to inform them that they aren't wanted in the game if they continue such actions.
High sec in particular would be a happier place with more pilots understanding that ship loss is inevitable and how to deal with it.
Cockfag? Rooster-cigarette? What the hell! That makes absolutely no sense.